I Don’t Want Her for a Mother
Many years ago as Mother’s Day approached I offered myself a gift of exploring what, if any, judgements I still held about my mother. It was a gift I could give myself since any judgement still held on to would come between me and the love I have for my amazing mother. Over the years I had questioned every judgement that arose because I did not want those judgements to stand between me and her.
An amazing thing happened. The thought “I don’t want her for a mother” arose. Immediately my mind argued. “How could that be true? You love her. This is ridiculous. Etc.” However, since I trust what arises I wrote it down. And because I was so curious about this one thought I explored it.
Here’s what I discovered.
I would be mother-less. Whoa!!! No longer having a “mother.” I would no longer be laying all my “mother” expectations on a woman who happened to give birth to me. Free to love this amazing woman totally and completely. A freedom that is difficult to put into words. I could see her as so many others saw her and experienced her. They didn’t put “mother” expectations on her. They were grateful to have her in their lives. I was free to get to know her as a person, someone trying to navigate life just like me and not always doing it according to unknown expectations from others. Most importantly I would be free to receive all that she gave me, all that she offered, all that she was. Able to experience total gratitude. She offered her whole life in service to me and my brother.
What is true is that I don’t want to put “mother” expectations on this amazing woman who is my mother. I want to see her clearly in love as love. The greatest gift of all!
If you have judgements about people you love in your life. Sit with those judgements, question them and fall in love more deeply with that person. What is really True is that you love them unconditionally. Discover this for yourself.