Kill the Buddha!
I am blessed to meet with people who are searching for that “peaceful” place that the spiritual teachers and books speak about. They read books, sit with teachers and engage in practices such as meditation, inquiry, yoga, religion, A Course in Miracles, AA, etc.
For years I did that too. I read an amazing number of books, sat with various teachers and engaged in a variety of practices including meditation, A Course in Miracles, Buddhism, and the inquiry process of The Work of Byron Katie. I even purchased some “magical” oil that I treated as if it was my last hope.
I was sure that whatever practice I was engaged in would bring me to some awake state and I was honestly clueless as to what that really was. Along the way each practice I engaged in fell away. Each practice is just a practice.
Over the years I noticed that just because people engage in a certain practice doesn’t necessarily result in that peaceful place they are seeking. I began to doubt all practices.
One day it hit me – It isn’t the practice, silly!!!
What I see now is that it has been a very strong desire to know Truth that has carried me. I’ve been a mono-maniac on a mission to realize for myself what is really True. I wanted to Know and not just pretend to know. For me, it was not about feeling good or having things go my way. Somehow the courage to align with that strong desire for Truth (Love, the Beloved, Presence, Life) has lived inside of me. I tapped into Consciousness again and again and again no matter what the pain and no matter what the cost. How I was able to do that I don’t know. I can’t take credit for it. It has all been a magical mystery tour that continues.
The very strong desire to know Truth is inside of you too!! That desire is in every human. It’s always been there and will never leave. However, you have to do your part. It takes courage to consistently switch allegiance from thought/mind to that desire for Truth. In switching allegiance there may be fear, it may be effortless, it may be incredibly difficult. Just do it again and again and again. What is also true is that you cannot pretend your way into that desire. What a funny paradox. Ultimately it is in the hands of Grace.
This doesn’t mean that you should stop your practices. Do the practice. Do whatever comes to you to do. Use all of the practices you are familiar with and that serve you. At the same time, realize that it is just a practice. And also notice if you are becoming attached to the practice itself and all that surrounds the practice.
If you really want to know the Truth and you meet the Buddha along the way, kill it (drop the practice for the Love of Truth).
Please don’t try to understand this and don’t believe me. My words are a poor representation of what I am trying to convey. Sit in the questions that arise for you in reading this and be open to what arises.