I Am Not Special!
Several years ago I had the shocking realization that I’m not special ~ never have been and never will be. I wish I could say I loved realizing this, but I didn’t! The spiritual texts talk about this concept, but it’s always been out there as a nice concept and not fully realized inside of me.
What I discovered is that trying to be special has been hard work, a life long pursuit that so far has not panned out like I thought it would. It also meant that I was constantly comparing myself with others. I saw others as better than me or less than me. I put them down and judged them or put them up and aspired to be like them. In either case I always lost – it’s painful to compare.
I thought that if I were special others would see how wonderful I was and want to be with me and love me. In trying to be special I had to work hard to prove that I had some worth, that there was a reason why others would find me special. All of this was a huge burden and basically very painful.
My new understanding has me looking at life and others differently. Just like every blade of grass in a large field, every tree in a forest and every bird that sings, has a place in this magical universe. Each field full of grass or flowers or weeds consists of many small and large elements doing its part to make the whole scene come alive. And like each blade of grass, I’m not special. I’m just doing my part to make the whole scene that I happen to be in come alive in some magical way. Equal – not more or less than another.
Now as I look around I actually see other people. I see them doing their part in this thing we call Life. It is a much easier way to live in the world as equal and “not special.”